The fact that has been sitting in my dorm’s vending machine for months should
have been a red flag. But I mean… How bad could it be, right?The packaging seemed decent. The picture of nice, moist chicken breast, on top of smooth and creamy mashed potatoes, glistening with flavorful gravy, promised me a filling and delicious dinner. Little did I know, this was about to be one of the most disgusting things I ever put in my mouth.
Printed on the bottom were the standard microwaving instructions I’ve grown
more accustomed to than I am willing to accept. The familiar feeling from
reading the instructions reassured my false confidence that this was going to
taste good. After all, most of the ramen and microwavable food I cooked tasted
just fine.
I opened the packaging, excited by the
delightful dinner I was going to have. I followed the instructions; poked holes
on the rapper and microwaved it. I must admit, the smell definitely made me
doubt my excitement. It was appalling. I couldn’t quite name what it smelled
like. Perhaps it smelled like chicken that’s gone bad, or perhaps it smelled
like sweat, but it wasn’t a pleasant smell.
I opened the rapper, only to realize
that I had fallen victim to a horribly misleading marketing scheme. The food
looked nothing like the picture on the package; the color was dreadful. Was
this even real chicken? It seemed like a rubbery piece of flop on top of soggy
and weird looking goo. The explosion of the
repulsive smell immediately signaled me that this wasn’t something I should be
putting into my mouth.
Despite my roommate and my brain deploring me to just throw it away, I pushed
myself to take a bite. I had decided to write a review, and I wasn’t going to
write a review without at least tasting the food. 
Eww.. Just.. Ew...
The disgusting metallic and salty taste
of the gravy coupled with the dryness of the chicken made the first bite
extremely difficult to swallow. The potatoes were grainy and completely
flavorless. This was definitely one of the top 5 grossest thing I’ve had to put
into my mouth. For the love of god, this tasted worse than the treats my dog
eats (and yes, I’ve tasted my dog’s treats).
I did end up finishing all of the
disgusting mixture of what tasted like a soup of gooey sand and overcooked
piece of old chicken.
Overall, I would be comfortable with
rating this the second most disgusting things I’ve ever had to taste (the first
is a foie gras I had to eat on an airplane, which I threw up almost instantly
after putting into my mouth).
The packaging is misleading, as the
content of the product does not deliver the promised home-style dinner as
portrayed on the package. I would not recommend this to any
one,
except those who have been starving for a month with no alternative but this,
or those who completely neglected to do their composition assignment, and was
left with no choice but to write about something they could find in their
dormitory building. 