[Hormel] Stake Tips and Mashed Potatoes

Today, I am back with another Hormel Complete microwavable food from the vending machines. After my last experience with the chicken breasts, I sincerely hoped that this would be different.

I'm sorry I don't have the picture of it
from the front... I forgot to take the picture..

Just like the last time, the packaging featured a picture of a delicious meal. Of course, I wasn't fooled this time. There was no way the actual food was going to look anything like the picture. But I there was still hope. I mean, although the chicken breasts tasted horrible, maybe this one wouldn't taste as bad. There must be a reason why this company still exists... right? 

As always, the package was microwaved for a minute and a half. Unlike what I expected, the smell wasn't completely repulsive. In fact, it was actually quite pleasant. It was as if there was actual beef being roasted somewhere close.

Well okay... must be a good sign...

With the excitement that perhaps today I would get to eat something flavorful, I peeled the plastic lid off. Again, disappointed by the disgusting looking pile of what was supposedly gravy on top of mashed potatoes and beef. To be honest, it kind of resembled poop. Despite the disgusting appearance, the smell was still relatively pleasant. I told myself that I shouldn't expect microwavable food to taste good and look nice at the same time, as I took the fork and took my first bite.


Sigh... Flavorful my ass. 

What was meant to be beef tasted like salted paper with metal powder mixed into it. The metallic taste was quite similar to that of the chicken breast I ate last week. The gravy was extremely salty with nothing that even resembled flavor. The mashed potatoes... Oh god the mashed potatoes... They were grainy and somehow sandy. It was as if the potatoes were all dried up and re-hydrated.
After finishing what was again, one of the worst dishes I have ever tasted in my life, I sat on my desk, wondering if what I just ate was actually food. Why would people eat things like this? How is this company still not bankrupt?  

At least I know you guys won't be eating this, so I suppose I'm one step closer to stopping Hormel. I will repeat what I said on my last post: I would not recommend this disgusting soup of fake beef and dehydrated mashed potatoes to anyone.

[Hormel] Home-style Chicken Breast and Mashed Potatoes

 The fact that has been sitting in my dorm’s vending machine for months should have been a red flag. But I mean… How bad could it be, right?

The packaging seemed decent. The picture of nice, moist chicken breast, on top of smooth and creamy mashed potatoes, glistening with flavorful gravy, promised me a filling and delicious dinner. Little did I know, this was about to be one of the most disgusting things I ever put in my mouth.

Printed on the bottom were the standard microwaving instructions I’ve grown more accustomed to than I am willing to accept. The familiar feeling from reading the instructions reassured my false confidence that this was going to taste good. After all, most of the ramen and microwavable food I cooked tasted just fine.

I opened the packaging, excited by the delightful dinner I was going to have. I followed the instructions; poked holes on the rapper and microwaved it. I must admit, the smell definitely made me doubt my excitement. It was appalling. I couldn’t quite name what it smelled like. Perhaps it smelled like chicken that’s gone bad, or perhaps it smelled like sweat, but it wasn’t a pleasant smell.

I opened the rapper, only to realize that I had fallen victim to a horribly misleading marketing scheme. The food looked nothing like the picture on the package; the color was dreadful. Was this even real chicken? It seemed like a rubbery piece of flop on top of soggy and weird looking goo.  The explosion of the repulsive smell immediately signaled me that this wasn’t something I should be putting into my mouth. Despite my roommate and my brain deploring me to just throw it away, I pushed myself to take a bite. I had decided to write a review, and I wasn’t going to write a review without at least tasting the food. 

Eww.. Just.. Ew...

The disgusting metallic and salty taste of the gravy coupled with the dryness of the chicken made the first bite extremely difficult to swallow. The potatoes were grainy and completely flavorless. This was definitely one of the top 5 grossest thing I’ve had to put into my mouth. For the love of god, this tasted worse than the treats my dog eats (and yes, I’ve tasted my dog’s treats).

I did end up finishing all of the disgusting mixture of what tasted like a soup of gooey sand and overcooked piece of old chicken.

Overall, I would be comfortable with rating this the second most disgusting things I’ve ever had to taste (the first is a foie gras I had to eat on an airplane, which I threw up almost instantly after putting into my mouth).

The packaging is misleading, as the content of the product does not deliver the promised home-style dinner as portrayed on the package. I would not recommend this to any

one, except those who have been starving for a month with no alternative but this, or those who completely neglected to do their composition assignment, and was left with no choice but to write about something they could find in their dormitory building.